My Child Is Already Worried About Going Back to School—What Should I Do?
Updated: Sep 3
While many families are focused on enjoying summer vacation, some children begin worrying about the next school year long before it starts. Parents are often surprised when their child starts talking about school anxiety in July or even earlier.
If your child is already expressing concerns about going back to school, know that this is more common than you might think—and there are ways you can help.
Why Are Children Worried About School So Early?
Children often spend a lot of time thinking about upcoming events, especially when those events involve change or uncertainty. Even if school is still weeks away, your child may be worrying about:
Having a new teacher
Making friends or fitting in
Academic expectations
Bullying or peer conflicts
Changes in routines
Moving to a new school
Entering middle school or high school
Being separated from parents
For some children, simply not knowing what to expect can trigger anxiety.
Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing School Anxiety
School anxiety doesn't always look like obvious worry. Some children may:
Frequently ask questions about school
Have trouble sleeping
Become irritable or emotional
Complain of headaches or stomachaches
Avoid conversations about school
Seek constant reassurance
Become clingier than usual
These behaviors are often a child's way of communicating that they feel uncertain or overwhelmed.
What Parents Can Do
Listen First
When your child expresses worries, try to resist the urge to immediately solve the problem.
Instead, listen and validate their feelings.
You might say:
"I can understand why you're feeling nervous about that."
"It's okay to feel worried when something new is coming up."
Validation helps children feel heard and understood.
Avoid Dismissing Their Concerns
While comments like "You'll be fine" are well-intentioned, they can sometimes make children feel that their worries aren't being taken seriously.
Instead, acknowledge the concern while expressing confidence in their ability to cope.
For example:
"I know starting a new grade can feel scary, but you've handled new situations before."
Focus on What They Can Control
Anxiety often grows when children focus on unknowns.
Help your child identify things they can control, such as:
Choosing their backpack or school supplies
Practicing organization skills
Planning their morning routine
Learning relaxation techniques
Focusing on manageable steps can increase confidence.
Practice Coping Skills
Summer is a great time to teach coping strategies that can be used throughout the school year.
Consider practicing:
Deep breathing
Mindfulness exercises
Positive self-talk
Problem-solving skills
Relaxation techniques
The more familiar these tools become, the easier they are to use when anxiety arises.
Keep Conversations Open
Rather than having one big conversation about school, create ongoing opportunities for your child to share their thoughts.
A simple check-in during a car ride or at bedtime can help children feel supported and prevent worries from building up.
When Anxiety Becomes More Than Normal Worry
Some nervousness about school is completely normal. However, if your child's anxiety is significantly impacting their sleep, mood, daily activities, or family life, additional support may be helpful.
Therapy can provide children with a safe space to explore their worries, build confidence, and develop healthy coping skills before the school year begins.
Supporting Your Child Through the Transition
Back-to-school season brings excitement, growth, and sometimes anxiety. By listening, validating feelings, and teaching coping skills, parents can help children approach the new school year with greater confidence.
Remember, children do not need to feel fearless to succeed. They simply need support, understanding, and the belief that they can handle challenges when they arise.
At Waterview Counseling Services, located in Watertown, CT, we help children, teens, and families navigate anxiety, school-related stress, life transitions, and emotional challenges. If your child is struggling with worries about the upcoming school year, we're here to help. Call us at (860) 483-0360.
Disclaimer: This article is intended for educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or medical advice.
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