Understanding the Difference Between Self-Esteem and Self-Compassion

💬 What’s the Difference?

Although both are important for emotional well-being, self-esteem and self-compassion are not the same. Here's how they differ:

🌟 Self-Esteem

“How much I like and value myself.”

• ✅ Based on how you evaluate yourself

• 📈 Often rises with achievement or praise

• 🤝 May involve comparison with others

• ⚠️ Can drop during failure or setbacks

• 😣 Can lead to harsh self-criticism when we don’t “measure up”

  
  

💛 Self-Compassion

“How I treat myself when I’m struggling.”

• 🧘 Offers kindness no matter what

• 💪 Doesn’t depend on success or approval

• 🧍 Recognizes that imperfection is part of being human

• ❤️ Encourages emotional healing and resilience

• 🤗 Helps reduce shame, anxiety, and burnout

  
  

🧠 Think of It This Way:

Self-Esteem	Self-Compassion
“I feel good because I succeeded.”	“I’m still worthy even if I failed.”
Based on performance	Based on kindness
Goes up and down	Stays steady

✅ Why It Matters:

While self-esteem helps us feel good about ourselves, self-compassion is there for us when self-esteem fails. Practicing self-compassion leads to greater emotional balance, motivation, and long-term well-being.

📝 Try This: When you notice you’re being hard on yourself, pause and ask: “What would I say to a friend going through this?” Then offer yourself the same kindness.

If you need more support, call (860) 483-0360 to schedule an appointment with a licensed therapist.