Embracing Resistance in Therapy Understanding Your Mixed Feelings and Finding Pathways to Healing

Starting therapy can bring up a mix of emotions. You might feel hopeful about making changes but also uncertain or uneasy about the process. These feelings of resistance are common and natural. Rather than seeing resistance as a barrier, it can be a valuable signal pointing to deeper parts of your experience that need attention. This post explores why resistance happens, how to understand it, and practical ways to work through it in therapy. The goal is to create a supportive space where you feel safe to reflect on your feelings and find ways forward.

A welcoming therapy space inviting calm and reflection

Understanding That Resistance Is a Common Experience

Many people feel resistance when they start therapy or during the process. Resistance can show up as hesitation, doubt, or even a desire to avoid certain topics. It might feel like a wall between you and the progress you want to make. This is normal because therapy often asks you to face difficult emotions, memories, or patterns that have been uncomfortable to acknowledge.

Resistance is not a sign of failure or weakness. Instead, it is a natural part of change. When you try something new, especially something as personal as therapy, your mind and body may push back to protect you from pain or uncertainty. Recognizing that resistance is common can help you feel less alone and more patient with yourself.

For example, someone might feel resistant to talking about childhood experiences because those memories bring up sadness or shame. Another person might resist opening up about their feelings because they fear judgment or rejection. These reactions are understandable and show where healing work can begin.

Viewing Resistance as a Signal for Deeper Exploration

Resistance often points to areas that need more gentle attention. It can be a signal that something important is beneath the surface. Instead of trying to force yourself past resistance, you can use it as a guide to explore what’s really going on.

Try to notice what thoughts or feelings come up when you feel resistant. Are you afraid of being vulnerable? Do you worry about being misunderstood? Are you unsure if therapy will help? These questions can open up new paths for understanding yourself better.

Therapists often see resistance as a doorway rather than a barrier. When you share your resistance openly, it creates an opportunity to explore those feelings together. This process can build trust and deepen your therapy experience.

For instance, if you feel stuck or unwilling to discuss a certain topic, telling your therapist about this can lead to a conversation about what makes that topic hard. This might reveal fears, past experiences, or beliefs that you can work through at your own pace.

Validating Mixed Feelings About Wanting Help While Feeling Unsure

It is normal to want help but also feel unsure about therapy. These mixed feelings can coexist without one canceling out the other. You might want to heal and grow but also feel scared about what that means or how it will happen.

Acknowledging these mixed feelings is important. It shows self-awareness and honesty. You don’t have to pretend to be fully ready or confident to benefit from therapy. Many people start therapy with doubts and questions, and that is okay.

You might think, “I want to feel better, but I don’t know if I can trust this process.” Or, “I want to change, but I’m afraid of what I might find out about myself.” These feelings are valid and deserve attention.

When you accept your mixed emotions without judgment, you create space for healing. It also helps you communicate more clearly with your therapist about what you need and what feels difficult.

Practical Strategies for Addressing Resistance in Therapy Sessions

Working through resistance takes time and patience. Here are some practical strategies you can try during therapy:

• Be honest about your feelings

Share your resistance with your therapist. Saying things like, “I’m feeling stuck” or “I’m not sure about this” helps your therapist understand your experience and adjust the approach.

• Set small, manageable goals

Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, focus on small steps. For example, you might start by talking about less painful topics before moving to deeper issues.

• Use grounding techniques

If emotions feel overwhelming, grounding exercises like deep breathing, focusing on your senses, or taking breaks can help you stay present and safe.

• Ask questions

If you feel unsure about therapy methods or goals, ask your therapist to explain. Understanding the “why” behind the process can reduce anxiety and build trust.

• Reflect on your progress

Take time to notice any changes, even small ones. Reflecting on what feels better or different can motivate you to keep going.

• Practice self-compassion

Be kind to yourself when resistance arises. Remember that change is hard and that you are doing important work by simply showing up.

For example, a client might say to their therapist, “I find it hard to talk about my family because I’m afraid of feeling judged.” The therapist can then explore this fear gently, helping the client feel safer and more understood.

Creating a Supportive Atmosphere for Open Dialogue

Therapy works best when you feel safe to express all your feelings, including resistance. A supportive atmosphere encourages honesty and curiosity rather than pressure or shame.

If you are starting therapy or feeling unsure, remind yourself that your feelings are part of the process. You can take your time and set the pace that feels right for you. Your therapist’s role is to support you, not to rush or push you.

Open dialogue about resistance can also help you and your therapist find the best ways to work together. It builds a partnership based on respect and understanding.